Sunday, August 12, 2007

Blurry

Today I wore my glasses. I hate wearing my glasses, they're impractical and I find I look kind of goofy in them. I've had the same ones since before the thick plastic emo-frames were cool, and that's the kind they are. I don't see as well, and they fog up whenever I move from, say, a walk-in fridge to an overheated industrial kitchen. They fog to the point where I can see better if I take them off and squint. So that's what I did. And I didn't crash into anybody either.

So how come nobody tells me when I've got barbecue sauce all over me?

"Tell me something I don't know, Red." That was an awkward conversation. I hate to think that it might be our last half-decent one.

It seems easy enough. Too easy, as a matter of fact. Maybe I'm in some form of denial, and this will hit me later, maybe I'd already started healing before the wound was inflicted. Maybe I'm just bouncing back. I just hope that later I don't come to regret where the pieces fell. Lately I've been feeling ok though.

Blue
Oy vey. You don't talk to someone for 6 months, and then you start talking again, and OH MY GOD! It all starts coming back to you. As I told L'Ange this morning, yesterday I had my first little headbutt with this novel situation. And you know what? It doesn't feel half bad. I'm just hoping I don't do something silly.

Hm... Tiger. You know, I think I like the sound of that. Still haven't really figured out what colour I am... initial guess was orange, wasn't it, Gold? That's kind of boring. Tigers are orange! Anyways... do most tigers roar? Now that I think about it, it doesn't really matter. I roar.

Keep Dreaming,
Daydream Believer

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Trail We Blaze

Maybe I'm a little bit slow on the uptake. Maybe a bit more than a little slow. Goodness knows I've missed a few things lately. Although a few things fell into place too. For instance, a year and a half too late, I figured out what the clue with the Anima/Animus thing was supposed to be. Although really, Gold, you ought to have known that your brain works on one wavelength, and mine works on a totally different one, and while that was a perfectly good hint working on your wavelength, I try to follow your brainwaves and get sucked into the undertow, and well, look at how long it took me for that clue to fall into place. It's a good thing I wasn't relying on your hints, isn't it? Otherwise I'd still be in the dark.

In any case, I also learned the difference between a monolith and a megalith. And based on what I know of both (granted, not much) I doubt that the former was ever as accurate as the latter, although that's my reality. Sure, there's an objective reality, but I'm sure that you're as sure that what you perceived as reality was real as I am that what I perceived as reality was real. Although you can't get much more real than your own experiences. It doesn't entirely surprise me to see how long that change took to take place, but it disappoints me a little. I suppose I haven't got any right to be disappointed, but since when have my emotions taken any advice from my head.

Red, Bear, Heater, I'm going to need that little vacation. I know it's going to be inconvenient, I know it won't be as stress-free as we'd planned, but I think I'm going to need to distance myself a little. Even if we don't end up leaving town.

Twice in six months I've gone back to old, grainy, black and white after a fortnight of high-definition. This time it was a little different. Maybe it was the lack of jet-lag. Maybe it was because things still haven't returned exactly to their sepia-toned everyday selves. I don't know, I may never know. Although I sympathize with Gold sentiment of "Okay, now it's time for the next thing." Stay tuned for the movie. Yes, there's going to be a movie.

Funny, isn't it, that when the tears started flowing, among all present, there was only one person who I wished would not see them.

There's change on the air again, lots of it. In many areas. A summery twist on my usual toboggan analogy: the enclosed black waterslide. This is, I guess, the part where, terrified, I sit on the dinghy and shut my eyes, powerless to control the direction or speed of the slide, never having been on a waterslide before, tuck in my feet and scream.

Just along for the ride,
Daydream Believer