Gold was right. There is no confidante. A bit ironic, that betrayal comes from this direction. I need people. I need to talk, bounce ideas around. Get a reality check every now and again. But freedom goes with being alone, and loneliness with freedom. No, I don't quite understand why I can't cry.

"If you decide, please don't tell me. I don't want to be in that situation again." She cares, she does. I know. I hope. She has to. I've got too many who I thought did and don't now. She can't join their number. Please.

Please, if you only knew. Maybe I do. Maybe I should have. Shoulda woulda coulda. No regrets. Feel free to jump in any time with the I told you so's. I don't want you to know. Maybe I do. Who knows, that would just give you another power over me, and you've got too many already.

What do I really want?
That's not as easy a question to answer as it should be. Maybe because I refuse to acknowledge the truth, maybe because I'm afraid of it. Maybe because I don't know which is the lesser of two evils.

Evils. Yep, that's pretty accurate. Love it or hate it. Love you or hate you.
When did evil get so bloody seductive?
Daydream Believer