La Bohème

Love is an angel disguised as lust,
Here in our bed until the morning comes.

Apparently critical volume for getting Daydream Believer most of the way out of her shell is 6 shots of rye in half an hour. Apparently barely post adolescent boys are more or less the same everywhere, which I guess doesn't surprise me. Interesting, I don't quite know how to feel just now. Even though I'm a lot smaller than them, and wasn't quite all there co-ordination wise, I still felt like I was in control. Of my actions, of my words, even of their actions. At the same time, would I have said and done the things I said and did 6 shots earlier? I don't know for sure, but my money's on no. Who am I kidding, I live inside a massive shell... or perhaps a tiny glass box. You can see me in there, but I'm still a step removed. Last night, I removed the obstacles. It was liberating, it was fun, and I wasn't scared. But I can't help but wonder if the people I encountered would appreciate me in all my shell-less glory when they're sober. People, myself included, are a lot more accepting when they're drunk. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified, but damn it, I'm going to get out of this shell. I had a taste of a new kind of freedom, and I liked it too much to let it slip away so easily.

Looks like that's the "foreign ass-grab" skirt. Funny thing was, I wasn't scared, hurt, disappointed, disgusted, or annoyed. Nobody was measuring my reaction either. I wonder if those two things are connected.

All of a sudden, I feel powerful, in control. Stop the presses, I think I've got feminine wiles after all. Shame about the directionality though. I think maybe, things could have happened yesterday, I could have made things happen yesterday. It's an interesting feeling. Sometimes it's alright to be silly. And yes, Ginger, you were right about the good Corporal and probably about Rad as well. As you said, fuck him. Ok, bad choice of words, but I'm sure the idea gets across. If I can stick to that idea, well, hopefully good things will happen. Bloody hell, as soon as I twist my brain around, things get fucked up again. Could be worse though.

Daydream Believer