No Day But Today

Epiphany

Ever had one single moment where the world all seems to make sense and everything's perfectly clear? Me neither. Every now and then though, I get the feeling that something's changed. Usually I can't put my finger on it. This time I can. This may change by tomorrow, but for right now, I know where I stand. This may not be a big deal for anyone else, but for me it is. I know where I stand, I know that I can have my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground simultaneously, and I think it shows. It's bloody amazing how much things can change in a week. I didn't notice it, but I've been systematically redefining the parameters of my existence for about 5 days now. Things that would have scandalized me a week ago, I can easily shrug off, things that I would never have said or done come easily to me. And I know that whatever I do, whatever I say, I will still be who I am. All of a sudden, I am sure I exist. It's kind of a nice feeling.

All You Wanted

Someone very brilliant once said something to the effect of: Only two great tragedies exist in this life. One of them is not having what you want. The other is having it.

As I said, someone very brilliant. If you have one thing you want, sometimes you have to forgo other things you want. I'm not sure what the tradeoffs are going to turn out to be, but I know they're going to happen. That's ok though. I've got a good feeling about the future for once. And I know I'll get through all this. This DDB v2.0 is a very resilient person, I think.

Inspiration

All of a sudden, I've been inspired. At the risk of sounding like a really bad cliché, lately I've caught myself dancing like nobody's watching, singing like nobody's listening. I've done things in the last couple of days that I should have done ages ago, just to prove to myself that I could, that my tiny little world wasn't going to crumble or grind to a screeching halt just because I did something a little out of the ordinary.

I should have some song lyrics, but none really seem to fit.
In closing... CR, I think I would like to see you shake it.

Here's to really breaking the monotony.
Daydream Believer

And All She Wants To Do Is Dance

Alright, so if anyone knows where I can get the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, please tell me with all speed... and if anyone's interested in packing up their stuff and moving somewhere warm with me for a couple of months or so, please contact me ASAP. :P

Nah, I couldn't leave the winter. In any case, on a slightly less googly-eyed note, the future is a bitch, man. A few rather strange things collided recently, and I'm still not sure where all the bits are going to land. On the one hand there's this person I haven't spoken to in awhile, and would have been quite tickled pink never to have to deal with again, but I guess that wasn't about to happen. He reminded me of a time when I thought I was happy but really wasn't. His brother still gives me dirty looks. On another note entirely, I might be teetering on the brink of a gigantic loss, and although the prospect terrifies me, I recently came to a realization. I am going to be okay. Even if it's going to be over. Sure, hearing those words hurt, and if that's how it's going to turn out, I'm going to be sad for a long time. But not forever.

I want to dance. I'm mad, and scared, and ecstatic and exhausted, and all I want to do right now is dance. I want to make this all go away. If this is how it's going to turn out, I have to think of it as the removal of one more binding tie, as freedoom, as becoming more myself. That's all I can do.

Daydream Believer

Baila En La Calle De Nocha

There's not a whole lot I can do about it now, I guess. Bugger.

I suppose I've always been a dreamer, as much as I've always denied it, even to myself. I've always had dreams, and although their direction might have changed from day to day, they were always there. Lately I've been having some dream issues, if you will. It seems that every time I make up my mind, something changes and all of a sudden it just isn't in the cards anymore.

It's about being exactly who you want to be in that moment.

What a weekend. Every now and then a piece of art comes along and just muddles the world up. I can't say it was a great time for the world to get muddled up. I can't help but feel a little bit heartsick after all that. I guess I've always been a softy after all. I refuse to believe that that's the end of the story. I stopped finding anything useful in fairy tales a long time ago, which I guess is why these halfway fairy tales have such an appeal for me. Of course, I can't leave well enough alone, I've never been able to. Everyone's got a little OCD going for them. I have to wonder about where they came from, and where they're going. It's a compulsion, and not an unwelcome one. I suppose everyone dreams of having a fairy tale come true for them. Precious few ever experience it. Apparently you can miss something you never had.

All in all, it was a good weekend.
Back to the daily grind tomorrow,
Daydream Believer