Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Dark Horse

It's one of those days where you really want to be somewhere subterranean, if for no other reason than to escape the heat.

Alright so a tally of people who have almost made me cry/made me want to cry in the last 5 days...
My Draconian Boss (well I already know he's generally a prick)
Bear (Not intentionally, one of those bittersweet things)
Loud (Ditto)
SS (A long story...)
My Parents (Enough said)
My Siblings (Ditto)
CR (Again, bittersweet)
Heater (Ditto)



That's a lot of reasons to be close to tears, but I'm saving all the bittersweet ones for a couple of weeks... I'm going to at least put forward an effort to limit the number of times makeup makes ugly black streaks down my face.

On another note entirely, there's someone who I have this kind of "I like you usually, but sometimes I really want to smack that smug smirk off your face" relationship with. I already know Gold would tell me to do it... but even he might be surprised by who winds up with a red welt across their cheek. (Gold, if you're reading this, don't worry, it's not you.)

Quotes
There is nothing that is there in the dark that is not there in the light, except darkness itself.
There is nothing to fear, save fear itself.

What's the worst that could happen?- Famous last words.

Quote from Bear....
"Why do I find to so easy to picture [Ace] and [Gold] having a catfight?"

This is what I get for rereading all those old notes, eh? Speaking of Bear... I call dibs on wearing the dress for the long, boring, life-changing ceremony.

There's something about this time of year that leaves me feeling slightly exhilarated and gives me the distinct feeling that I can do anything, that anything is possible. Most people have to have a lot of chemicals in their system before they start thinking that. Maybe I'm just lucky that way.


I think things are finally starting to gloss over with Ace. Loyalties are finicky things. A note to Ace, in case he ever reads this and recognizes himself, Just because I care about you doesn't make me your mother, I promise. And I think I do a pretty good job of acting my age, you just don't notice when I act too young to be your mother. Which I am. By a good 40 years... but that's beside the point.

The next couple of weeks, and the two months after that, are going to be like tobogganning down a mudslide. Really really fast, and you get to the end and go, "did I seriously just do that?" Yep. Just like a big old roller coaster.

It's been one hell of a ride.

Daydream Believer

3 comments:

estelover said...

Gah. Far too many things have been bringing me close to tears lately. It makes me wonder if I'll be standing there during commencement surrounded by people crying tears I've already cried a month ago and I'll have nothing left. I can still picture Ace and Gold in a catfight, and it still makes me laugh. And go ahead and wear the dress, I hadn't even thought about what I'm going to wear to commencement. I guess that makes at least 3 dresses I have to buy before July. Enjoy the rest of the ride, its not over yet.

GoldMatenes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GoldMatenes said...

MORTAL KOMBAT!

...OK, no, but now I am curious. Is there violence to be done?

...I don't cry anymore. I guess I don't need to. :)

...I feel right now like I am dodging through a crowd, ducking and weaving, overcoming obstacles, and though the end isn't in sight I still know it's there.