So I had to.
Remember when you said you'd never change?
You did.
Remember when I told you not to promise me anything, because I knew you couldn't follow through?
Did that stop you?
Was I wrong?
Remember when you said I wasn't paying enough attention?
So I walked away.
Remember when you said I let you down?
Did I, really? Wasn't it the other way around?
Why wasn't I worth it?
Do you remember?
It looks like my throne has been usurped. Well... it's not really a throne, and it wasn't really usurped, but that sounds much more exciting than I lost my seat. Those 28 hours just started to look a lot less appealing. This was all supposed to happen last year. Bloody hell. I'm still looking forward to it, but I can sense from here that it just won't be the same. So much for finding a niche.
If there was a fire burning, and now there isn't, that would indicate change, wouldn't it? I don't think I'm the same as I was four years ago. The key words: "As far as I can tell". How far can you tell if you didn't know me then, and probably don't know me now either? I don't blame you. I won't say you're not right on some counts, but I never said I wasn't being impatient or selfish. It is selfish to want someone to see the bigger picture, but that won't stop me from wanting it, now or later. You say I haven't changed in four years, and you're proving my point. You wouldn't know, because most of my changes aren't immediately evident, and you never asked.
Was that supposed to make me feel better or worse, Gold?
Anyways, 400 in 3 is always a good way to finish off the day. Face red, heart racing, limbs going numb. Really makes the world disappear.
Anyways, 400 in 3 is always a good way to finish off the day. Face red, heart racing, limbs going numb. Really makes the world disappear.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
Something to dream about.
Daydream Believer
Something to dream about.
Daydream Believer
2 comments:
What I said was supposed to make you think, not feel. Feeling good or bad is a side effect.
All changes are immediately evident, because they aren't changes at all - they're additions.
Physical changes are just one kind, but an actual emotional or mental change would have changed your actions.
It is not up to others to step up and ask if you've changed. There is no one who can neatly take your soul apart, reading each page carefully.
Do you realise how many personality-reflecting questions you answer noncomittally?
For example, what kind of music do you listen to? Your answer was blank. All kinds. I don't have a favourite.
I don't know what your family is like, what your favourite colour is, what kind of a philosophy you have.
I asked all those questions, and I still don't know.
You can ask for the bigger picture, but others need feedback as well. Almost every being naturally fears imbalance, because imbalance implies weakness.
It is not selfish to want to see your surroundings more clearly.
It is selfish to expect freely of others that which you do not give.
Emotions themselves aren't good or bad. The things that cause them are.
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